"The More We Learn, The More We Realize We Don't Know."
Hi There,
Mistakes are inevitable. And being open to feedback makes you a better ally at work and in life, allowing you to muster the courage to keep putting yourself out there.
Case in point: Have you ever meant to say something supportive to women or BIPOC colleagues in order to connect, and ended up having the opposite effect?
I have!
The first time it happened, it really stung. It was 4 years ago, when working with a group of women who had been identified as rising leaders. During one virtual session, the group wasn’t particularly participatory, except for one woman— Zina. I was so grateful for Zina that, after the session, I thanked her for being my “Vanna White”. In my mind, Vanna was Pat Sajak’s co-pilot, doing her job while literally walking backwards in heels. And yet, some of the young women in this cohort were offended by the well-intentioned comment.
OUCH! It took some time for that sting to subside. Thankfully, I chose to learn from the occasion and thought I had….until it happened again!
The second sting occurred when I was coaching a black woman. My intention was empathy when I equated her situation to one that I was familiar with. But empathetic it wasn’t. Once again, I apologized sincerely, and learned from it. But then I got concerned. Here I was with the best intentions to be an ally, and I kept messing up!
The good news is that my coachee let me know, as a result of my asking for feedback. The other good fortune is that this time, it didn’t smart for as long as the Vanna White incident.
I continue to invite feedback with my interactions and then marinate on what I learn. However, feedback is not what I rely upon solely. Educating myself about the struggles, challenges and triumphs in the BIPOC community through abundant resources is a commitment I’ve been taking advantage of. And asking questions to better understand the realities of those with whom I converse makes me a better ally instantly.
Will you join me in becoming a better human, and in creating a more inclusive workplace?
Cheers!
-Deborah
Deborah Goldstein
DRIVEN Professionals / Forbes / Linkedin
info@drivenpros.com | LinkedIn
DRIVEN Professionals, 35 Adrienne Lane, Garrison, NY 10524